


the times lost (and the regrets that follow)

by rin_0621



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Character Death, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio Friendship, M/M, Surgery, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:27:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rin_0621/pseuds/rin_0621
Summary: It's another match for the Schweiden Adlers and everything seems to be fine during the first set. That is, until Kageyama breaks after a mistake in the second set.[or]When Kageyama makes a mistake that brings many unwanted memories and regrets along with it.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 1
Kudos: 51





	the times lost (and the regrets that follow)

**Author's Note:**

> The writing is terrible and this is just short writing I wrote before I go to sleep for school tomorrow.  
> If you do decide to read this, I hope you enjoy it.  
> Please note that English isn't my first language and I am still improving.

“Heiwajima-san!” Kageyama called out.

The libero dug the ball and passed to Kageyama efficiently in a swift manner.

Kageyama ran to beneath the flying ball, estimating where it would land. He jumped, feeling the familiar weight of the volleyball, his arms moving on pure muscle memory. His feet jump and his fingers move on their own, setting the ball quickly.

In fact, that’s the problem. The ball is set too quickly in an inhumane speed. No one could spike that set. No one, except for Hinata Shoyo.

Kageyama turned around, just realizing his mistake, half expecting Hinata to already be there with his idiotic smile at having a ball set for him, already swinging his arm and spiking it on the other side’s court. In fact, Kageyama’s lips turn up just at the thought of Hinata spiking his balls. However, his small smile disappears when he sees the ball fall down, no one spiking it. The ball rolls on the floor, a few feet away from the net.

Everyone is surprised. The teammates on his team, and the opponents. Even the crowd is surprised and wonders what that was.

Kageyama is reminded of Kitagawa Daiichi, that final set. 

At that moment, he had set the ball, trying to get over the other team’s blockers. Except, no one had been there to spike the ball. There had been several mistakes made during that game, but that moment, it was no mistake. It was a clear declaration. The team telling Kageyama they would not listen to him.

Kageyama had been benched during the rest of the game. It was frustrating, just thinking about it. The moment had scarred him. So much that he was still afraid of the same event happening when he entered Karasuno. So much to the point, he despised his nickname, “King of the Court.”

King. King. King. King. King. King. King.

That’s the only word revolving around Kageyama’s head. He can barely hear anything else. Barely hear the cheering of the crowd or the comments of the spectators. Barely even hear his fellow teammates who were asking what was wrong over the clear ringing in his ear. Just the one word, repeating and repeating itself constantly. Bringing unwanted memory after memory back.

Kageyama barely registered what the commentators were saying.

“Number 20, Kageyama Tobio, the setter of Schweiden Adlers seems to not be feeling so well today,” the first commentator said.

“Yes, in fact, it could be due to the recent death of―”

Kageyama blurred the noise out, refusing to listen. He looked down at his hands that he noticed were trembling. No, he realized his whole body was trembling. He sunk down onto his knees, surprising everyone.

The Karasuno second and third years that had made it to the match looked at Kageyama worriedly. Daichi pursed his lips as Sugawara frowned, clutching the side of the chairs tightly. Even the usually most energetic duo, Tanaka and Nishinoya were silent, looking at Kageyama with worried eyes.

Flashbacks of Karasuno came in. 

The first time Kageyama met Hinata, it was in a middle school volleyball match. Hinata had said he would win at the restroom, was it? And the last set of the game, the setter had set the ball the wrong way. But Hinata had been there in a flash, spiking the ball.

Or when they met in high school, when Kageyama was practicing in the gymnasium. Hinata had entered and called him out. It was then when they had accidentally sent the vice principal’s toupee flying off and received the ban from joining the Karasuno volleyball club. It was also that moment when Kageyama and Hinata challenged the third years to a match for their entrance into the volleyball team.

That time Kageyama had come back from the All-Japan Youth Training Camp after Atsumu called him a goody-two-shoes. He had been stressing about it ever since and even during the practice match against Date Tech. He had lashed out against the team by accident, even shocking himself. He had been scared the Karasuno teammates would abandon him, just like during his middle school years. But Hinata had been there, to ask what was wrong about being a king? Saying that if he didn’t like what Kageyama said, he wouldn’t listen. It was then Hinata had crowned Kageyama the King of the Court again. When Hinata had said that as long as he was there, Kageyama was the greatest.

Their last days as a third-year, just before Hinata left for Brazil. Kageyama had served, and Hinata had jumped in and received the ball. A contrast from when they were first years when Hinata couldn’t even touch his serves. Kageyama had smiled at Hinata, and Hinata had smiled at Kageyama.

Back to the present, Kageyama felt a wet sensation down on his cheeks. Reaching up to touch it, he realized it was tears. He was crying, Kageyama realized. His eyes widened in realization as his lips trembled, his eyes fogged with tears that seemed to have no end.

Kageyama remembered that fateful day. 

It was just a normal day, just like any other day. He had suddenly gotten a call and rushed to the hospital. When he arrived, he saw Hinata―no, Shoyo’s sister, Natsu, already there. Kageyama had rushed to Natsu’s side to ask what had happened.

“A car accident,” Natsu had explained through tears. “He was just walking along the street when a drunk driver ran the red light. The driver bumped into Shoyo, who was walking home after practice.”

Kageyama had to wait for the torturous hours that felt like eons for the surgery to end.

“A miracle,” the doctor had said. “Although we need to keep an eye on his condition, for now, it seems that his condition has stabilized.”

Kageyama was relieved that Hinata would get better and had stayed by his side the whole night. The beeping of the Holter monitor reassuring Kageyama that Hinata was still alive, still breathing, still fighting.

“Wake up,” Kageyama had called to Hinata softly, holding his hand. He looked at Hinata’s sleeping face, wishing to whatever god or deity out there to help Hinata.

Turns out, gods don’t listen to prayers. That night, Kageyama was woken by the urgent beeping of the Holter monitor. The doctors and nurses had run inside the room and Kageyama had to step back from Hinata. The beeping grew faster, and Kageyama watched enough movies and had enough common sense to know Hinata was in a cardiac arrest. That his pulse was abnormally fast and that he could lose his pulse.

Kageyama stared at the scene unfold in horror as the doctors tried CPR and defibrillators to bring Hinata’s pulse back. Kageyama took a step back in terror as the dreaded long beep of the machine was heard. Refusing to believe his ears, Kageyama looked at the machine to see a straight line. 

At that moment, Kageyama’s entire world was shaken.

“Time 04:23 AM, Patient Hinata Shoyo….has passed away,” the doctor stated solemnly.

Kageyama’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe it―wouldn’t believe it. Hinata would just wake up and smile seeing Kageyama. Probably joke about being so worried and ask to practice some sets. Yeah, that’s what would happen. Hinata couldn’t possibly be dead. 

Kageyama stepped to Hinata, expecting him to open his eyes and say, “I got you!” But when Kageyama reached the side of Hinata’s bed, there was no prank. Hinata’s eyes were closed and his whole body was still. So eerily still.

Kageyama was brought back by the crowd’s noises. It was so loud, it was almost deafening. But as he was brought back to the present, he couldn’t help his mind wander about Hinata again.

Hinata’s wide smile. The smile that made his eyes close or squint. Arguing with Hinata on a daily basis and always competing against each other, whether it be about grades or who gets to enter the gymnasium first. 

“I miss you…” Kageyama muttered softly. “I need you back.”

He did not care that his voice cracked or that it sounded weak. The rest of the Schweiden Adlers looked at Kageyama worriedly, especially Hoshiumi and Ushijima, who knew of Kageyama’s special bond with Hinata first hand. Kageyama and Hinata had been soulmates. A person who brought out the most emotion and understood him most. That was who Hinata was, and had been.

The next time Kageyama had to serve, he gripped the ball tightly. He could not help his emotions run astray, nor the tears that fell from his eyes. Just before the whistle was blown, just before Kageyama had to serve, he swore he heard Hinata.

“Baka. Kageyama baka,” Hinata says. And although it sounds like he’s mad, his face isn’t mad at Kageyama.

Kageyama smiles sadly as his tears flowed out. “Boke Hinata, boke,” he whispered back.

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first fanfic I wrote on archiveofourown and I'm very thankful you read up to the end.  
> I'm sure the writing was terrible or hard to understand.  
> I am open to any comments that can help me improve my writing.  
> This is an idea I got from a TikTok video from @_kuroos.girlfriend_ that I decided to write.  
> The original idea was: “What if Hinata died and then the first game after his death Kageyama sets the ball for the quick attack but when he looked behind him the ball just hits the floor. And Kageyama breaks down into tears.”


End file.
